Ken told me yesterday, that with all his family in town, he probably wouldn’t make it to church this morning.
So it might seem a little opportunistic of me to tell one of his stories when he is not here… but I really don’t think he would mind…
For those of you who were at the memorial service yesterday, you will remember Ken’s story of when he and Dotty met.
Ken was skiing up in Maine, and when he came off the slopes at the end of the day, he noticed a group of three people in the ski lodge – two women and a man.
He started up a conversation with them. He was very interested in one of the women, but there was this other man present! What was his deal? Which woman was he with?!!
The next morning, much to his delight, Ken discovered that the lovely young woman with the English accent was not the man’s girlfriend.
Yes!
After some more conversation – or rather, after some more flirting – the two discovered that they were both headed to Boston that day. Seeing his opportunity, Ken summoned the nerve to ask her if she would allow him to drive her.
Well!
Of all the nerve!
What was Dotty – because the attractive young woman with the English accent was none other than Dotty, of course… what was Dotty to do? She liked this young man a lot, but she was a proper young woman, and after all, he was a stranger!
Should she trust him?
**
The first time Jesus appears to the disciples in the upper room – it was the evening of that first Easter Sunday – he comes through a locked door, and says to them:
“Peace be with you.”
We are not told how the disciples respond to this, but we might surmise that they needed to be convinced, because we are told that Jesus showed them his hands and his side and it was only then that “the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.”
But there was a catch – you know the story: it just so happened that one of the disciples – our friend Thomas, was down at the Market Basket picking up a dozen eggs and some Taco shells, when all these extraordinary events took place… and when the disciples reported it to him later, he was skeptical:
“Unless… he said…
Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
It is because of this remark, that Thomas has become known, throughout the centuries, as Doubting Thomas – a nickname that has a decidedly negative tone to it.
Thomas is called Doubting Thomas because, instead of immediately believing, based solely on the testimony of his fellow disciples… he placed conditions.
He said unless…
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
That unless makes us judge Thomas as a kind of a suspicious guy.
But that unless…
That unless is an unless that we are all too familiar with isn’t it?
Don’t we live lives filled with unless?
It’s hard to know who to trust these days.
Maybe it has always been hard… but these days it seems harder. These days it seems like you have to be constantly on your guard. Technology being what it is, unsavory people seem to be everywhere, and their tricks are just becoming ever more crafty and more unrelenting. Now that we have handheld devices that go everywhere we go, there is never a moment when some bad actor (I could use more colorful language to describe them) is not poking you, trying to separate you from your hard earned money.
Deception!
There has never been a time when we have not tried to deceive each other. It seems to be a built part of what it is to be human.
For this reason, there is a moment, when meet someone for the first time, when I ask myself this question:
“Do I trust this person?”
We all do this… Don’t we?
This inevitable question is unfortunate, on one level, and crucial on another.
It is, I think, what we could call the “real world” question.
What do I mean, the real world question?
This is going to sound a little cynical, but I suspect most if not all of you would agree with me.
In that moment when you ask yourself “Do I trust this person?” you are acknowledging that you live in the real world. You ask this question because, unfortunately, you cannot assume that everyone is trustworthy and this….this is what it means to live in the real world.
It would be nice to live in a world where you could trust everyone you meet… but you have been around the block enough times to know that we don’t live in that world. Since you live in the real world, you ask the real world question:
“Do I trust this person?”
So… before we start getting all judgmental about Thomas, let’s acknowledge that we are all probably a lot more like Thomas than we might like to admit.
We have to be.
If we weren’t at least a bit like Thomas, we would end up sending our life savings to some Nigerian Prince, or we’d buy some beautiful beach front property in New Mexico.
We just can’t go around believing everything everyone says. If we did that we wouldn’t be living in the real world.
We’d be living in a fantasy world.
Wouldn’t we?
**
When we were last in company with the two young skiers, Ken and Dorothy, you will recall that Ken had just made the audacious suggestion that she allow him to chauffeur her back to Boston…
This was an audacious suggestion by any measure, because Dorothy had just met Ken the night before. Getting in a car with someone you hardly know is one of the biggest risks a person can take.
I bet Dorothy wanted to go with him, but…
but she lived in the real world.
This was a real world moment.
She couldn’t just say yes.
So Dotty did something pretty smart. She disappeared. She told Ken that she had to confer with her friend – the other lady she had come up with.
She would be right back…
**
I think that Thomas has gotten the wrong end of the stick all these years.
I like to think of him, not as the disciple who had insufficient faith – not as the disciple that lacked the force of piety to surrender himself completely. Rather, I like to think of him as a person who provides Jesus with a “teachable moment.”
Thomas gives Jesus an opportunity to show us something important about love.
If we think about the interaction between Jesus and Thomas as a real world moment, we see that Jesus himself gets it! Jesus recognizes Thomas’ real world need, and the next time he visits, Jesus does not hesitate to provide Thomas with the exact proof that Thomas wanted.
he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side.
This willingness on Christ’s part, makes me think that he did not feel put upon by Thomas’ request. Jesus understands that we live in an “unless” world. It is only when Thomas actually does touch Christ’s wounds, that he, Christ, says:
“Do not doubt but believe.”
Christ doesn’t think that asking for confirmation is unreasonable. And once the proof is given, the time has come for the risen savior to say – “see. It’s true. I am the resurrected Lord.”
“You can trust me.”
Now it is true that there is the pesky next verse – verse 29, when Jesus says:
“Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
Doesn’t this little commentary from Jesus’ mouth kind of put Thomas in his place and undermine my reading of the story?
I suppose it could.
But you will notice that Jesus says only says that people who have not seen and still believe are blessed. He does not say that people who have seen and believe are not blessed. He never says that Thomas has done anything wrong. Thomas, though he doubted, is still blessed.
Because here’s the thing.
The real world question – “Can I trust” can be answered in two ways.
And both answers are real world answers.
No, I cannot trust, is a real world answer
but Yes!
Yes! I can trust… is also a real world answer.
Dotty left Ken waiting in that ski lodge for a long time when she was talking to her friend.
Ken said it was the longest hour of his life.
The two women debated. They discussed all that they knew about this stranger – and how they knew it.
They listened to their gut.
They knew.
Dotty knew.
It is possible to trust another person.
It is possible to meet the love of your life.