day 22
On Sun, Dec 31, 2017 at 8:53 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 22: In addition to having a fun time with friends, you might be thinking about a New Year’s Resolution today. Resolutions can be great, as long as they are productive and positive—and as long as one doesn’t try to change who they are. There may be many things you want to change about yourself but it’s important not to change who you are. You are truly unique, the only YOU in the universe. You are good, you are loved, and you are perfect just being you. So make your resolutions but make sure they are about being your best self, not someone different.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Tue, Jan 2, 2018 at 10:22 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#Agapé 22.5: So take something that is essentially you, and weave yourself more into its beauty.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 21
On Sat, Dec 30, 2017 at 10:26 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 21: You were created out of an act of love. Live is sustained through love. Love is your true nature. Remain in your true nature. Return to your true nature.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Tue, Jan 2, 2018 at 10:18 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:
Agape 21.5: Lincoln again — this time at the conclusion of his first inaugural address:
We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 20
On Fri, Dec 29, 2017 at 9:43 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 20: Agape seems lofty and idealistic but it might also make you better at the things you do in life. If agape means to be there for someone, to listen, to pay attention to, think about how that translates to your place of work, your classroom, your sports team, and your relationships. It makes you a better friend, a better teammate, and a better colleague if you put the needs of others first, if you listen to and respect others. We have tried to make agape into job skills: vocational teaching reminds you that “people skills” and self-management skills are crucial for all the best employees. That’s good. That shows that agape is practical, and it might give you a concrete way to see agape in practice. But let’s be careful. Let’s not distill love of one’s neighbor into job skills that help you advance in a career or get paid more. If you’re loving your neighbor for the material benefits it gets you, then it wouldn’t be true agape.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Tue, Jan 2, 2018 at 10:14 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#agape 20.5: This last observation brings into discussion the tricky question of how intention relates to ethical decision making and if a self-serving intention necessarily negates a good action by making that good action ultimately selfish rather then selfless. There is a story about Abraham Lincoln — he was in a coach with a fellow passenger when they drove past a group of piglets drowning in the mud. Lincoln told the coach driver to stop and went back an saved the piglets. Asked why he did this, Lincoln reportedly said: “I should have had no peace of mind all day had I gone on and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs. I did it to get peace of mind, don’t you see?” The anecdote asks the question — was Lincoln’s act a selfish one? If his intention was solely to give himself peace of mind, perhaps it was. How does the notion of agapé inform our answer to this question?
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 19
On Thu, Dec 28, 2017 at 9:08 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 19: Agape means being there for someone. It doesn’t mean you have solutions to all of their problems. It doesn’t mean you take away their pain. It doesn’t mean you clear a path for them and remove all obstacles. It just means being there. Through love, we say “I am here for you. I am listening. I will join you in your joy and your suffering, and I will not leave when the going gets tough.” Think about how much your day would improve if you knew someone was at your side in this way! I’ll be there is someone who needs to hear this from you today.
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On Thu, Dec 28, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 19.5: To truly listen, is to listen without judgment. This is a spiritual practice. If a church is healthy, it can offer this kind of listening when it joins together in prayer. We often think of prayer as a movement of our hopes and desires outward toward God. What if prayer was also understood as an intentional, non-judgmental listening to the pain and the joy of a community. The idea of doing this as community, is profoundly important. This is one reason why it might be worth taking a second, less suspicious look at the role that so called “organized religion” plays in our society.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 18
Photo: Jake Britton
On Wed, Dec 27, 2017 at 9:36 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 18: When I reflect on what agape is calling for, I can see it in a very practical way: I hate being judged. I am furious when someone won’t listen to me. I get frantic and frustrated and almost breathless when someone interrupts me and won’t let me make my point. If I sense that someone has made up their mind about me without considering my point of view, I feel devalued and defeated. Agape means we listen. Agape means we refuse to judge. It means basic respect for one’s individuality. If being heard and respected is so important to me, it must be important to others. Agape: loving others as one loves oneself, treating others as one wants to be treated.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Thu, Dec 28, 2017 at 10:48 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape 18.5: I am reminded of George Saunder’s essay entitled “The Braindead Megaphone” in which Saunders suggests that the social and political discourse that becomes dominant, is not the discourse that shows the greatest subtlety of meaning or even reasoned understanding, but rather the speaker who can control the most volume. Saunders’ prescient essay was written in 2007, when Donald Trump was still a reality TV clown. It is sobering to think that the exact opposite of the good intentions expressed in #agapé 18 dominate our political discourse, and that now, more then ever, we are yelling over each other rather than listening. #Agapé 18 brings a version of the “golden rule” into our discussion of agapé. One wonders if our “Twitter-in-Chief” has ever heard of the “golden rule?”
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 17
On Tue, Dec 26, 2017 at 9:18 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Thu, Dec 28, 2017 at 10:29 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:The difficult thing about gift giving is that it comes perilously close to commodifying a relationship. I have two sons who are close in age. Until they are mature enough to be able to handle it, we are careful that their “special” present is not just of the same value, but actually the same gift. I am not suggesting that this is a foolproof solution, but it is one strategy. This way neither of them ever has the chance to suspect that one of them is “worth” more then the other. This idea of placing varying degree of value on different human life is something that we slip into very easily, in almost every part of our lives — it is the principle that governs hierarchy, and so it is prevalent in our culture. The boss is routinely understood to have more value than the worker, the first class passenger over the third class passenger, the BMW driver over the dude in the beat up ’97 Impala. This hierarchy of value is so pervasive it is almost instinctive — and yet it is culturally constructed! In this sense, agapé — which insists that we all have equal value (sacredness) in the eyes of God, is a subversive notion. How does this subversive notion call us to act?
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 16
On Mon, Dec 25, 2017 at 1:09 PM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 16: “Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother and in his name all oppression shall cease.” Merry Christmas everyone.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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day 15
On Sun, Dec 24, 2017 at 8:29 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 15: It seems easier to show agape love for young children. They are so innocent, so full of potential, so far from the grizzled, flawed adults we grumble about each day. But we can work to see the innocence in adults too. We don’t have to emphasize their flaws and selfishness. Recognize that none of us really know what we’re doing. We’re all doing the best we can and deal with temptations, distractions, and a flawed, rotten system in which to live. We each deal with our own set of struggles, with our own (often tragic) personal history. Children get the benefit of the doubt that humans deserve. I would never change that. Agape calls on us to give that benefit of the doubt to each person—young or old.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 25, 2017 at 9:22 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#Agape 15.5: This reminds me of the idea, familiar to me from my studies of Buddhism, that young people have a clarity that adults do not have because they have not been hemmed in by the assumptions that are imposed by culture. The process of socialization, in this view, is a process that clouds an original clarity. Perhaps we are intolerant of other adults because we recognize the way that they, like us, have been ruined by the prevailing assumptions that govern our times. A version of this idea is what the Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki calls “Beginner’s Mind.” When someone who has never played the piano sits in front of a keyboard, there are infinite possibilities. As the student learns, the infinity becomes narrower. How does this “beginner’s mind” relate to agapé?
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 14
On Sat, Dec 23, 2017 at 8:56 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 14: The essence of real religion and spirituality isn’t a list of rules. It isn’t about checking off boxes so that one qualifies for “heaven.” It’s love and compassion—plain and simple. It’s agape to Christians, and many other religions agree even though they call it by different names. Any practices that help us to love love are worth doing. Abraham Lincoln supposedly said “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad I feel bad. That’s my religion.” The Dalai Lama said “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” While these may seem too simplistic for you, I feel they are beautiful and complex statements, worthy of nearly endless reflection. Let’s reflect together, because any religion that closes conversation by making lists of rules is, I think, missing the point.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Sat, Dec 23, 2017 at 3:02 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agapé 14.5: An ethical principle or religious imperative may be simple in articulation, but this in no way implies that its execution will be easy. Agapé may be the ultimate case in point of this. Its easy to say “love your neighbor.” Doing it is difficult. Doing it consistently is almost impossible. Especially if “neighbor” (as we have been discussing in this thread) includes people who do things that are clearly hateful or selfish. When Agape14 mentions the Dalai Lama, is see him, in my minds eye, saying “My religion is kindness” and I feel a sense of confidence in this vision. I have confidence that the Dalai Lama may be invoking a simple notion, but that his life of spiritual discipline is there to provide consistency to the assertion. The Buddhist tradition also gives us the notion of the “mantra” — a repeated phrase that helps to keep us centered. Perhaps this kind of tradition is offered as a way to bridge the gap between the simple assertion and the difficult execution.
I went to see “The Last Jedi” with my family last night, to celebrate my son’s 14th birthday. (Don’t worry — no spoilers alert needed.) I was struck by the theology that is right on the surface of our popular mythology. Dark, light. Evil, good. Selfishness, selflessness. The dynamic is always there. But our popular mythology always gives us violence as an appropriate mode of addressing conflict. There are red light sabres and yellow light sabers. Both will cut you in two, but somehow the yellow one will cut you in two for the sake of goodness. Is this agapé?
At one point one of the characters in the movie (a new one) said: “Its not about killing what you hate, its about saving what you love.” Hmmm. Interesting!
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 13
On Fri, Dec 22, 2017 at 8:48 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 13: Agape calls on us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We must empty ourselves of selfishness. However, it is important to remember the self. Agape is not asceticism. Don’t forget the “…as yourself” part. We have plenty of selfishness and self-indulgence in the world today but I don’t think it’s really self LOVE.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Fri, Dec 22, 2017 at 1:25 PM, Rev. Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#Agape 13.5 — The more we investigate agapé, the more it appears to be related to internal discipline. When others are hateful, we take it as a opportunity to learn about our own hate, and find compassion from that place. When we find our self-regard challenged, we are also called upon to examine our internal life — with special attention to finding how to love the self without taking the short-cut of being self-indulgent. The latter, of course, in our consumer culture, is by far the easiest path because we are inculcated relentlessly, by the engine of capitalism, to believe that we are entitled to indulge ourselves. Self-indulgence is profitable. But knowing the difference between self-indulgence and self-love (inward turning agapé) must — to be sure — be an important knowledge. Again, I think it is easy enough to identify what is self-indulgence. Perhaps it is more difficult to figure out what constitutes the “as yourself” part of the most important commandment. This is yet another important angle to pursue.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 12
On Thu, Dec 21, 2017 at 9:54 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 12: We need to figure out a way to use our modern technology less for distraction, less for snarky insults and trite quotes, less for palliative care for human alienation, and more for genuine human interaction. We can use these tools for agape if we work at it. They are only tools. They are not ends in themselves. We can use them in whatever way we choose. I fear that we chose a negative path, but it doesn’t need to stay that way.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Wed, Dec 21, 2017 at 11:58 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: If we talk of “agapé” as being a quality of being in which people offer each other the generosity of their hearts first, before, or even instead of, the indulgence of cruelty — then yes, we must admit that the internet and all its opportunity for human interaction has not helped the cause, but rather empowered the petty cruelties of our Demons to run amok under the guise of anonymity. Agapé is an unreachable goal. To try to achieve it, and to insist upon it is to pretend that nine tenths of human interactions don’t take place. But does this futility make it less important or necessary to try? No. We must try. Even if it influences only one person for.but a passing moment, it remains a matter of utmost importance. This is how we know we are alive. This is where we perceive the possibility of beauty. Unbearable astonishing beauty.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 11
On Wed, Dec 20, 2017 at 10:26 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 11: I am not claiming agape is easy. There is no shortcut to loving one’s neighbor. However, it is very difficult to do when one is distracted by the things which dominate our mental space in modern society. In particular, we seem obsessed with self-gratification, wealth, and selfish desires. We are perpetually on the defensive, hung up on protecting that which we claim to have earned, and that which we feel entitled to. One doesn’t earn agape, yet everyone deserves it. This revolutionary teaching flies in the face of our modern sensibilities—and that is beautiful.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Wed, Dec 20, 2017 at 8:33 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 11.5: The prime motive of our culture — the “bottom line,” the highest priority, the engine of our economy is… profit. Profit legitimizes all manner of immoral practices. The shareholders return must be maximized at all costs. And what is the principle that gives energy to profit? Agape? No. Greed. Those who deride the religious as an naive bunch of unrealistic, emotional idealists, forget that the most successful hard-core business people are also motivated by emotion. The emotion of greed. Is agape inherently ineffective? Is greed, somehow more “realistic?” Not necessarily. We simply have to examine the nature of our cultural reflexes.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 10
On Tue, Dec 19, 2017 at 9:31 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 10: If we are to love each individual and the collective community as a whole, that means we must love the earth as well. We must remember that those on the margins suffer the most from pollution and climate change. Love for our neighbors is thus a primary reason to care for the earth. But I would argue that the earth—and it’s non-human inhabitants—are neighbors to be loved as well. That means loving and caring for them not because they have value to us but because they are part of creation…to be loved simply on their own as they are.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Tues, Dec 19, 2017 at 7:10 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape 10.5 comes to us from Walden, by Henry David Thoreau:
Sometimes, after staying in a village parlor till the family had all retired, I have returned to the woods, and, partly with a view to the next day’s dinner, spent the hours of midnight fishing from a boat by moonlight, serenaded by owls and foxes, and hearing, from time to time, the creaking note of some unknown bird close at hand. These experiences were very memorable and valuable to me—anchored in forty feet of water, and twenty or thirty rods from the shore, surrounded sometimes by thousands of small perch and shiners, dimpling the surface with their tails in the moonlight, and communicating by a long flaxen line with mysterious nocturnal fishes which had their dwelling forty feet below, or sometimes dragging sixty feet of line about the pond as I drifted in the gentle night breeze, now and then feeling a slight vibration along it, indicative of some life prowling about its extremity, of dull uncertain blundering purpose there, and slow to make up its mind. At length you slowly raise, pulling hand over hand, some horned pout squeaking and squirming to the upper air. It was very queer, especially in dark nights, when your thoughts had wandered to vast and cosmogonal themes in other spheres, to feel this faint jerk, which came to interrupt your dreams and link you to Nature again. It seemed as if I might next cast my line upward into the air, as well as downward into this element, which was scarcely more dense. Thus I caught two fishes as it were with one hook.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 9
On Mon, Dec 18, 2017 at 9:39 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 9: Agape seems to say we should value diversity. We should love people of all races and creeds, regardless of sex, gender, class, ability. This is true. But it is far too easy to love people in the abstract. When we generalize the imperative to love into “tolerance” or “respecting diversity” we might forget that the ill-mannered ugly man, with bad breath and a nasty attitude is glossed over. But agape is required there as well. In fact, agape is required in all of our messy interactions in a given day. Even in the realm of social policy, it is far easier to think of the good of the whole than it is to consider the interests of those on the margins. To keep it an intellectual exercise of loving all people in the abstract is far too easy.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 18, 2017 at 12:38 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#Agape, Day 9.5: Perhaps one of the ways that agape is a corrective in our lives, is by pointing out to us that, ultimately, the intellectual approach is insufficient. Wow, you gotta love it when you inadvertently compose a thoroughly intellectual sentence in an effort to destabilize the act of intellectualizing! But why is the intellectual response insufficient? And how does agape bring us to this conclusion? The intellect — as Agape9 points out–is comfortable using abstractions. We are familiar with this critique when we say “I don’t want to become a statistic!” Abstraction gives us permission to gloss over the specific, it allows us to think about people without being accountable for their story — their reality. Why is the ill-mannered ugly man with bad breath and a nasty attitude the way he is? Was he sexually abused as a child? Was he crippled in a snow mobile accident back in the early 80’s? Or maybe he’s haunted by friends lost in the paddy fields of Vietnam. I am a believer in narrative. I believe there may be a connection between agape and narrative. Because when we know someone’s story, it is much harder to intellectualize their life into an abstraction. When we have paid careful attention to the narrative, the data-point is restored to being human again.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 8
Photo Credit: Snezana Popovic
On Sun, Dec 17, 2017 at 12:08 PM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 8: From a fetus to an octogenarian; whether gay, straight or transgender; whether wealthy and powerful or poor and vulnerable, agape calls on us to love each other. That means loving each person but also loving the diversity that is the world. We can’t claim entitlement to agape—it’s not mandated, rather it is freely given and humbly received. The fact that it is freely given is what makes it so special. No science-based evidence can prove that this is how we ought to love—ethics and love are not evidence-based. But there is also plenty of science to show that the world is created and sustained by love.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Sun, Dec 17, 2017 at 8:58 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote:#Agape 8.5: Everyday, when I sit down to respond to this thread, I am thankful that we are taking a long and sustained look at the nature of agape. I think it needs a long and sustained look, because it is such a challenge, and because there are so many different ways of looking at it. We have been writing, back and forth, for the past few days, about strategies for showing love to those who we think do not deserve it — people we consider hateful or despicable. Today’s post shifts the discussion to diversity. The beauty of diversity. We humans are so amazingly multifarious — so many colors and shapes and sizes and ages and genders! It’s so wonderful to look upon this spectacle, when we find a reason to get together. Imagine Agape being our motivation to get together! Imagine!
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 7
On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 9:38 AM AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:#Agape, Day 7: One of the most difficult things about agape is loving the neighbor that is not easy to love. You have those people who you hate, or you are angry with, or you simply cannot abide. It is so difficult to let go of those feelings of anger, hatred, and contempt. It might be helpful to think about it this way: What part of yourself are you losing when you decide to forgive, and give up your anger? Is it a part of yourself that was worth keeping? Is it a part of yourself that is part of what is best about you?
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On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 10:41 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 7.5: In martial arts, there is an idea that one need not use much energy at all to defend oneself — that if one are sufficiently aware, one can defend oneself simply by redirecting the attacker’s energy. I find Agape #7 to be surprising in this way. It seems to me that the people I find detestable are the precisely the people who grasp tightly onto their hatred and anger. The suggestion here is to find agape for the the neighbor “who is not easy to love” by practicing understanding, not of the neighbor — but of one’s own internal reaction to that neighbor. Agape starts with an act of humility? I like this idea. We let the other person’s hatefulness teach us about, and help us let go of our own.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 6
The Good Samaritan by Vincent Van Gogh
On Fri, Dec 15, 2017 at 10:08 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 6: We might have special relationships if we have taken an oath, or if it’s part of our job, or because of a shared history. The real trick is figuring out which of those special relations really matter. Does an oath overrule one’s duty to humanity? Does membership in a group come before one’s obligations to those outside of the group? Oaths, allegiances, and special relations definitely matter—I take on certain additional duties when I take an oath. However, we’re seeing the evils of tribalism quite clearly in the present time. Evangelicals interpret scripture and doctrine as exclusive (the opposite of Jesus’ message of universal inclusivity, forgiveness, and freedom) and condemn anyone who doesn’t fall in line. Political party members agree to support one of their tribe even if he is a terrible racist, or a sexual predator, or a Christian fascist. In political “discourse” we rely on debate, defeating the enemy, rather than dialogue, coming to consensus. Racism is as healthy as ever. Foreigners are scapegoated and feared. The Good Samaritan provides a great example of agape at work: he stops to help a stranger who has been attacked by robbers. The victim isn’t a member of the Samaritan tribe. Yet the Samaritan goes beyond tribalism and helps, out of love. He doesn’t ask why the man is hurt. He doesn’t expect payment in return. He doesn’t know the victim and he isn’t from the same nation. He helps to the bitter end, going so far as to carry the injured man on his back.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Fri, Dec 15, 2017 at 12:00 AM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: Agape 6.5: We have concentric circles of intimacy. These circles radiate outwards from most loved to least. Family, friends, professional colleagues, acquaintances. Our natural tendency is to assume a love for those closest in, and assume reduced levels of regard moving outward. But this is not the message we get from religion. Religion never makes it easy for us. And agape — certainly — is a religious notion. Perhaps a spiritual exercise. Jesus has something challenging to say about this:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” (Matthew 5:43-47)
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 5
Photo Credit: Leonardo Chavez
On Thu, Dec 14, 2017 at 9:59 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 5: agape is like a baseline positive regard for all humans. This doesn’t mean that you treat your daughter the same way you treat a stranger. Of course we have special relationships and different obligations to those people. Our special relations almost always take precedence, but they never empty us of our baseline agape love for each other human.
Eric Bowman| Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Thu, Dec 14, 2017 at 7:23 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 5.5: This gets at a crucial concern — the matter of degree. When we think of “love” we think of something that is stronger then “like.” In our culture, “love” and “like” (correct me if I’m wrong) seem to be similar emotions that are distinguished by the degree of intensity — love, of course, being more intense then like. The degree, surely, depends upon the nature and level of attachment that I have with the other person. Hence it is natural for me to say that I love my daughter, but it is equally natural for me to say that I despise another individual — in particular an individual who might be a threat to my daughter.
But Eric, you are suggesting that we have a “baseline positive regard” for all humans. This seems possible in abstract — as long as we are not talking about specific individuals — right? I have no difficulty affirming the sacredness of human life itself (and the inheritance of respect that comes with it) — but ask me to focus my regard on specific individuals (history’s truly despicable humans — like Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot) and I have a much harder time. But our religions never pretend to make things easy for us. I wonder, in this regard, if agape might not be related to the “tough love” that comes to us from 12-step programs. Perhaps the secret to finding a “baseline regard” for heinous people, may come from our desire to heal them? I don’t know.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 4
On Wed, Dec 13, 2017 at 9:37 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 4: Loving the enemy, the unjust, the purveyor of evil isn’t easy, and it’s hard to know what that love looks like. If we’re having a hard time showing agape love to them, it is helpful for us to analyze why we’re having such a hard time. Is it because we are holding on to our rage over this person’s actions? Is it because we want vengeance? Is it because we don’t have forgiveness in our hearts? Is it because of our own selfish need to be “right?” Are we fearful that reconciliation might show some weakness? We might need to clean our own house before we can show agape for the wicked. Search your soul. Empty yourself. It will bring about healing for you and healing for the world.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 13, 2017 at 4:00 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 4.5: To love is to find some way to create connection. But because of our punitive judicial system our reflex is to look at a purveyor of evil and judge them. Is it possible, instead, look at the purveyor of evil and see a reflection of our own fear, our own intolerance, our own rage, and create connection with that person around the challenges those reflections show us? Is agape a kind of empathic connection to the reality of the universal inheritance of life’s brokenness? This would give the cross a special emphasis.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 3
Roy Moore
On Tue, Dec 12, 2017 at 9:16 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote:
#Agape, Day 3: agape doesn’t mean you disregard one’s wrongdoings. There are consequences for one’s actions; those consequences might even be negative. Agape doesn’t mean we don’t get angry at our neighbor for the injustice they perpetuate. Showing unconditional neighbor love is not the same as equal treatment for all. But agape means that even the criminal, even Roy Moore, even Kim Jong Un, should be loved as a fellow human. Sure they must be stopped. Of course they don’t deserve our votes. Yes, they must repent. But we must love them. That’s hard.
Eric Bowman | Revolution Ethics Project | revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 12, 2017 at 4:00 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape 3.5
Yes, it is hard. Even trying to reach over the gulf that separates us from the Roy Moore’s of the world — men who impose their power over teenage girls less than half their age — is profoundly difficult. One of the hardest things about it, is the recognition that the impulses that cause this kind of reprehensible behavior are within us all — and that the natural demands of our sexuality must be diligently curtailed until we find the partner who is our equal in power and consent. They say that rape is not a crime of sex but a crime of violence. Perhaps sexual harassment likewise, is not so much a violation of sexuality as an abuse of power. Mutuality cannot exist when sexuality is based on the abuse of power.
But Eric, in your post challenges us to love the person for their fellow humanity, while, at the same time holding them accountable for their actions. I find myself calling to mind that thing that people say about Eskimos and words for snow. Love is one of those words that has many many meanings, and is almost meaningless because it means so much. This must be a a very particular kind of love — the love for someone we find utterly detestable. There should be a word for this. Is “agape” the right word? I’m not sure. I’m glad that we have a whole year to think about this together.
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 2
On Mon, Dec 11, 2017 at 7:01 AM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape, Day 2: agape means unconditional positive regard for each human because he/she/they are human. This means each person. That is the real challenge, and that is why this is a countercultural, revolutionary ideal. It is easy to have positive regard for your friends and heroes. I can’t pat myself on the back for showing agape love for my wife or my best buddy. When I show agape to the criminal and the unjust, that is the real challenge but THAT is what changes the world.
Eric Bowman Revolution Ethics Project revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 11, 2017 at 1:36 PM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: If agape is to apply to everyone, is it a categorical imperative? The book of Genesis gives us the notion that we are all “made in God’s image” — giving us the guiding notion that human’s (or more broadly, life) is sacred. This is certainly a premise that I try to live up to. As I was walking through the bank parking lot, through the remnants of the first snow, I was thinking about your message. I realized that I have routinely said that Trump tests the robustness of the “checks and balances” built into our federal government, but I have not, till now, thought of him as a spiritual challenge as well. If we are to be true to our notion that each human is “made in the image of God” — how does our spiritual life manage someone like Trump who not only embodies hatefulness, but is also powerful and represents the interests of our country. Trump is a political and religious challenge.
Gandhi said: “I can say without the slightest hesitation, and yet with humility, that those who say that religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means.”
Agape! Mark
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH
day 1
Photo credit: Hannah Love Yoon
On Sun, Dec 10, 2017 at 12:30 PM, Eric Bowman <revolutionethicsproject@gmail.com> wrote: #Agape, Day 1: Agape is the Greek word for love that is the primary teaching of Jesus. It roughly translates to “neighbor love.” By neighbor, it is clear that Jesus means everyone. Of course, it’s not just a Christian concept. It is essentially the Golden Rule, which we see in most of the world’s religions and ethical systems. I had planned to start a new series of posts on December 10. This day holds special importance for me so it seemed fitting. Now we have a fresh coating of snow, illuminated by a bright Sunday sun and it seems even more perfect.
The “year of simplicity” posts ended about two weeks ago and I have felt a void. I have found that a daily post has become a good part of my life. It is not due to popular demand that I do this, and I do not presume that anyone cares what I have to say, or agrees with me. I make no claims about the importance of these posts to anyone but myself. Making it public is a way to motivate me. It’s also a way to occasionally get pushback and other opinions. That is healthy. I feel the need to balance the shallow talk, the caustic arguing, the excuse-making, the hate that dominates the media, politics, civic discourse. Mostly, I need to remind myself, daily, that the effort to love one’s neighbor is all that matters. I need to reflect on what this really means. It is easy to lose track of agape as we struggle through the days and weeks. “Love your neighbor” is so hackneyed that we stop listening and look for other answers to ethical problems: “tolerance,” “coexistence,” a Purpose Driven Church, the Prosperity Gospel, Marxist revolution, secular humanism. I want to go back to it—because I think it is the one rule that governs the universe, the one absolute that we are all subject to. Faith? Hope? There is one principle by which we all try to live: “The greatest of these, is love.” Agape.
Eric Bowman Revolution Ethics Project revolutionethics.org
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On Mon, Dec 11, 2017 at 8:52 AM, Mark Koyama <pastorucj@gmail.com> wrote: Day 1 of Agape slipped by me, with the concerns of church and family occupying the doings of my Sunday. Perhaps, too, I had not prepared myself yet for the discipline, so I let it go. And yet my day yesterday was in many ways reflective of what you wrote. Dec 10 is the birthday of my late father Kosuke Koyama, and so it is an important day for me also. I dedicated my sermon to him, and quoted him in a manner that is simpatico with your intent, as you began your year of Agape: “Doctrines” are important… my father wrote, but we believe in “God” not in “the Creed”… Jesus does not say “Love your doctrine as yourself” No. He says “Love your neighbor as yourself”. We become fanatics if we give our life for the defense of the “doctrine”.
What, then, is ultimately important? All I can say at this moment is “loving relationship with others”. This is the core of the Christian message as I understand it. This is what the name Jesus Christ stands for. Ultimately there is only one teaching. That is “God is love”. Everything hangs on this. You have here the point of illumination to judge all religions, including Christianity. Take your time. Do not swallow religion. Guard yourself against fanaticism.
Here is another interesting thing that happened yesterday, that also has symbolic value regarding Agape. It came to my attention that my home church, down in Deerfield MA, received a flame that had been lit in Bethlehem. An organization called “Peace Light” (http://www.peacelight.org/) brings the flame over from the Holy Land and distributes it to churches all across the US. So I went to the lessons and Carols service in Deerfeld yesterday and received the flame, which I am now carefully tending (lest it go out) so that we cam light our candles at UCJ with it next Sunday. As I obsess about the logistical necessities that are required to keep a flame lit for a week straight, I am learning something about tending, and — I begin to see — about intention and care which, certainly, has implications with regard to human relationship. No?
Agape!
Rev. Mark Koyama | The United Church of Jaffrey, Jaffrey, NH